Why Not to Win the Nobel Prize

I have always fantasized about winning a Nobel Prize. Having already turned thirteen months and still not having achieved any intellectual triumphs, it is perhaps wise to start rationalizing why winning the Nobel wouldn't be so great. Thankfully my recent trip to Stockholm provided just such a reason. Nobel festivities are held each year in the Blue Hall of the Stockholm city hall. From its picture, you can understand why visiting the Blue Hall set back my learning colors by weeks. Now I hate public ceremonies as much as the next wiggly toddler, but this ceremony must be torture. Over a thousand guests are forced to sit along long tables. Visualize an extra cramped version of the Hogwart's dining hall. Each guest gets sixty centimeters of space except for the royal family - who can bask in seventy centimeters of space. I would have skipped my own first birthday party, if I didn't get more elbow room than that!